And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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