do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
jump out the window naked night went bad
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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