We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Randomize
