Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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