i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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