She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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