New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
