CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
