i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
