Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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