went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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