Dual....:-)
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
