For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
