This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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