the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
They took my balls.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
