you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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