quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Randomize
