it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Just puked most of my soul out..
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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