Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
