she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
