I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Four minutes until I can fart!
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
We left the knife in your bed.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Randomize
