Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize