never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize