How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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