You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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