sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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