Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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