erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
