Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Randomize
