Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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