Got a toothbrush?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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