how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
