someone threw a dead crab at me
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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