After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Randomize
