I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
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