just tell him i said nine months
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Is it because I queefed?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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