Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
