So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize