Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
a search helicopter?!
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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