these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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