the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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