i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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