you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
