Sry I called you an 8
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize