Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize