The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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