At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
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