i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
