woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
