The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I did not marry a roomba.
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