I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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