i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
