Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
