Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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