i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
