these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
