An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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