It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
