how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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