my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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