i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
