quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
